But I find, like I'm sure many others have found, that I am constantly looking ahead. I look to the next horizon or for the next step in my journey. I'm talking about my educational journey. My career.
Do I pursue special ed? Do I pursue bilingual education? Is this school and are these kids where I'm going to spend many years? Or will it just be a few? When will I start on furthering my education and which direction should I take.
Today while I was testing my kids I feel like I had a mini breakthrough. I was testing my readers who are pretty much reading at grade level. I called in my one student who needs special ed services and started giving her the assessments in little chunks, with jumping jack/stretching/breathing breaks and conversation in between. As I'm doing this I see the relief on her face that she's able to do her best, and at her own pace. Internally, I felt a pull at my heart and my eyes started to well up. I had to look away and breathe.
I had to stop myself from crying. I feel like this May be a sign of my next steps. I'm not sure yet where the money is going to come from but I do know God has given me the patience, love, and enjoyment for teaching kids who don't learn at a typical pace. I love these kids for making me slow down, and I love seeing when they succeed.
I don't know what the future looks like, what school program I should choose, or even the setting that I'll be teaching in... But I feel like God just reminded me this morning that he has put these passions and this love for students such as these in me for a reason.
So, this time, I'm going to follow his lead and walk at his pace and be on the lookout for doors I need to walk through.
I'm beyond thankful that his Spirit speaks and works in my life. I don't deserve this kind of grace. He is a real and on time God and beyond amazed that he gives me what I need, and not what I deserve.
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